Why women accumulate weight

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

“Good grief, look how smart I am!”

mom jeans commercial

This is the funniest commercial ever. Really fellow moms, let’s evaluate our look. Just because we are moms doesn’t mean that we can’t be attractive, youthful and fun. Get rid of the frumpy and look your best. Take care of your body and shape it. No moms jeans for me. Out with the old and in with the new. Keep your men remembering why you caught their eye in the first place (chances are - you were not wearing mom jeans!). Enjoy.

If ya need some help shaping that body to fit in some “hip” and cool jeans - give me a call, Lora aka Blonde Runner at 801-299-1601, lora@blonderunner.com

Potato exercise joke

Great Potato Exercise
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

operation joke

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked. He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.” “She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?” “She was talking to the …doctor.”

Come see the kittens joke

“Hey Mom, come see the kittens!”

Big smile

How far would you go to show someone you love them?

A Blonde cooks diary entry for the week

☺It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
☺Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper
☺A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.
☺Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
☺I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
☺Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don’t have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.
☺Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

Blonde thinks she has won a motor home

A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there’s
A ‘peel and win’ sticker on her beverage cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming,
‘I’ve won a motor home!
I’ve won a motor home!’
The waitress says, ‘That’s impossible.
The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?’
But the blonde keeps on screaming,
‘I’ve won a motor home!
I’ve won a motor home!’
Finally, the manager comes over and says,
‘Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken.
You couldn’t have possibly won a motor home
Because we didn’t have that as a prize.
The blonde says, ‘No, it’s not a mistake.
I’ve won a motor home!’
And she hands the ticket to the
Manager and HE reads…
‘W I N A B A G E L’

Skydiving Blonde Joke

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.”

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!”

Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”

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